Lamb

It won't come as a surprise to most of you that I'm a little Type A about things. Not even important things, necessarily. For example, I can't keep all the dog hair off the ground but if a recipe calls for a teaspoon, it's painful for me to try and "guesstimate" without the actual measuring spoon. Weird, I know.

Last week I had an epiphany about my prayer life and it's probably going to look pitiful on paper but it really did make a big difference to me and I want to share it in the event that you can relate. When I talk to the Lord, I have realized I do it like He doesn't know who I am. I originally thought I had to be on my knees next to my bed (left side, candle burning) in order for Him to hear me but then years later I rebelled and just did it while sitting straight up. I like to push the envelope, what can I say?

It seemed like I was still connecting despite the fact that I wasn't following my little rules, so I went with it. I became accustomed to just talking to Him wherever I was (madness, I tell you), but until recently I didn't realize that I still had some learning to do. I'm kind of laughing as I write this because it sounds funny to even say, but the truth is that I typically pray like this:

"Dear Jesus (wait until He has had a chance to turn His eternal gaze on me instead of the other thing He was doing. Not scripturally accurate but nonetheless, I do), I would like to lift up so-and-so to you. She is really processing her divorce and I'm concerned for her. Lord, what can I do to help? What should I be saying to her?"

It goes on like this for a few minutes, me talking like I'm talking to a psychiatrist who just pulled my file. And sometimes (gasp!) I get distracted and then I start over. "Sorry Lord. I just started thinking about how this other person really irritates me and I kind of chased the rabbit trail a little. I also ate some Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls but now I'm back and I'm ready to focus."

It's like I have to have a powerpoint presentation before I feel like I've prayed efficiently.

For crying out loud, how weird is that? And yet, some of you are  nodding your heads right now because you have felt the same thing. You feel like you're talking to Someone Who has other things to do and you just want to walk away feeling like you did it "right." Because certainly the God of the heavens can't piece it together if I don't help Him out.

Last night Amy (from Selah) and I were getting ready to go to a movie (Inception, if you must know. And don't think the irony isn't lost on me. And also, I'm still confused about the whole thing, start to finish). Charlotte was crying about something and Todd had taken her into the bedroom to try and calm her down. It wasn't going very well so he brought her back out and Amy took her. All the while I was acutely aware that she wanted to be swaddled, turned slightly into someone's chest with her pacifier in her mouth and her lamb making the ocean wave sound. I'm pretty sure Miss Kelsey (who has saved our lives and is currently watching the kids so I can hide in the bedroom and write) just shouted Amen because she knows the drill too. But it's a recent development and Todd was out of town for a few days so he didn't know about the magic of the lamb (once again, the irony is kind of like a sack of potatoes falling on my head. Subtle, you know?).

I picked her up and walked her into her nursery and a few minutes later she was completely asleep and Todd came in to see what I had done to calm her down. After he walked out I continued to rock her and I had one of those moments where you just know the Lord is trying to impress something upon your heart so you listen.

She didn't say a thing. She didn't label her needs and desires with boxes to check off. You knew them already because you know her. You know the sound of her hungry cry and the sound she makes when she's falling asleep contented. You don't need her to explain, because you love her well enough to know.


Well, that's because I'm her mother. Naturally I know.

And exactly Who do you think I am?


God likes to trump me with one-liners. He knows I appreciate timing and punch.

I start to realize that I pray to Him as if He doesn't already know everything. As if I'm another customer in the long line of people Who want to talk to Him. I'm like three steps away from making an appointment.

I don't even hear the little Lamb playing because I'm so darned convinced that I need to show Him where the swaddle is. He doesn't need a preface. He doesn't want a 5 step plan. He wants me to be with Him. I have this weighted feeling that if I forget to pray specifically, it won't happen. If someone writes me and asks me to pray for their child and I screw up and forget, what will happen? It will all fall apart, right? Because it was dependent on me to explain. He didn't understand and I would have been the one person who could have intervened. Logic at it's finest, folks. Hope you picked up on that.

I know it in my head and I believe I love Him this way but for some reason the praying is different. When I saw Charlotte sleeping I knew He was trying to teach me something that would deepen our relationship. Instead of rattling off a list last night, I laid in bed (Oh yes I did. And He heard me anyway) and I thought of a person in my life who has really wounded me. As the face of that person sat in my mind, I just let it sit. I didn't try to pepper it with my side or explain how wronged I had been, I just rested knowing that He knew it already. And it was a relief. And then He told me I was right and that person was wrong, wrong, wrong. Well, I'm pretty sure anyway.

I freak out when I don't have control (airplanes, anyone? I'd probably be fine if I was the pilot!) and I feel the need to fill in all the gaps. I'm really going to try and change this, and I have worked out a very specific checklist in order to free myself from it.

That last part was a joke. Kind of.

I want to let Him be Him in my prayer. I want to be able to rest knowing that I don't have to work to pray, because He is in the business of knowing already. Does that make sense? If not, you should see Inception because this will be really simple after that.

I just wanted to encourage you all to reach out to the God who has already filled the gaps, and embrace Him as the Father Who doesn't need anything from you. You are freed from responsibility, and enabled, through grace, to be a part of the miracle.

Ahhh. Doesn't that feel nice?

Rest in Him today, friend.

With much love and an alarming selection of highlighters,
Ang

P.S. Thank you Miss Kelsey! We love you!

Need A Good Laugh?

My dad sent these to me tonight and I thought they were pretty funny...hope you get a good laugh and feel free to leave your own "kid quotes" in the comments!!! Hope you all had a fabulous weekend...

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Learning On A Quilt

Well the Smith family is about to go on another school-year adventure. I'm so excited to dig in to the new stuff we got this year and also to invite you all to share your classrooms with us! I have gotten so many emails through the past few years asking about my homeschooling and I haven't done a great job of sharing on here, so I'll just tell you a little about where we are now.

I started Kindergarten with Abby and Ellie and used Sonlight. I liked it a lot but was still on the hunt. As a first time teacher I was so nervous I was going to leave something out that would completely ruin my child's future. I needed to order the whole kit and kaboodle. And an extra couple kaboodles just in case. Everything had to be in neat folders, perfectly arranged, classroom poised and ready for the learning to happen.

I've swayed away from that a little bit, although I am still a complete sucker for back to school supplies. And don't get me started on Curriculum Fairs. I am a dangerous woman at one of those. And despite the fact that they are better for the environment, I must say I miss the white Crayola markers. Have you seen the new ones? Anyway. I love the gear.

Last year we did Calvert, which I also liked. At this point I was starting to find my style of teaching and their style of learning and I don't think that was the best curriculum for us. I think it would have helped if I could have let it go when we didn't finish everything we were supposed to for each day.

What you'll find is that there isn't one magical curriculum you can order and have it all be perfect for every child. So, you have to do the hard thing (gulp) and start to piecemeal. I don't really do piecemeal well. I would like it in a box, with my instructions inside, perfectly arranged so that nothing can be left up to me because I will certainly fail them...

With that said, I have grown stronger in my teaching and am trusting my instincts a little more. We are going to be altering this next year to fit the season we'll be in. I chose *after much obsessing* "My Father's World" as our main curriculum because it will allow me to easily include Kate in Abby and Ellie's work, and also because they send a person to your house to care for your baby while you teach. No? That one would get my vote.

If you aren't familiar with Charlotte Mason, you should be. She was an incredible woman with some amazing ideas about children and the way they learn. I just adore her, and honestly, it's probably why the name Charlotte was one of my favorites. To me, it brings me to a time in life where children did their lessons outside while they explored. I love this idea, and we are going to be incorporating it more this year than we have in the past. One of her strongest beliefs is that children should not be read "twaddle." In other words, read original, unabridged, masterpieces of literature and you will be brought up to that level. During the past few years I have seen that happen with my kids, and I love the natural way they ask about words they don't understand and concepts they aren't familiar with as we read.

A lot of people asked about curriculum and scheduling so I wanted to touch on them. In addition to My Father's World, we are using Math-U-See for math and Apologia science (we are doing astronomy this year). I like this program because it does a great job of blending science and Christian beliefs. And, they threw in a denim jumper. That's a lie. I bought it. I just wanted to see if you were still reading.

For spelling, MFW recommends a Rod and Staff program called "Spelling By Sound and Structure," and also "Primary Language Lessons"by Emma Serl.  I love Rod and Staff...we have used their preschool stuff in the past as well and really liked it.

I tend to gravitate towards learning which is simple, classic, and inspiring. It may go back to my love of Little House, but I just think that we tend to complicate things sometimes. Literature saturated days, clean basics, and room for some outside time is the plan for this year.

The way we will structure our days is to start in the morning and finish up with formal lessons before lunch. We'll take a short break to milk the cows and grind some wheat, and then we'll pick up with nature study and art. Charlotte Mason also put a heavy emphasis on the role of nature study and I haven't done a great job of this in the past. I don't know. Maybe it's the mosquitos and the heat, but let's just say it hasn't always gone according to plan. I have tried to plan these elaborate things and it just ends up being stressful, so we're throwing down the big quilt and going with it. I guess that's the theme this year :)

A friend of mine (and newbie homeschooler this year!) Kelly (Faithful Provisions) is meeting with a wonderful homeschool mom and author we heard speak a few weeks ago and we are going to try and have her set up a workshop for our readers. Once I get the scoop I'll pass it along and if you're interested we would love to have you come!

This is a really basic sketch of a couple things we are planning, but this is my favorite part. I'm going to put a Linky on here and I would love for you to put your site on here if you homeschool and want to share the way you do things. It's so great to be inspired by other people's creativity :) Feel free to leave comments too...I'm not really familiar with the Linky but I think you can do either one.

Talk to you all soon...

A

P.S. Please leave any homeschool advice, tips, pictures, or anything else you want to share. I am seriously so excited to read them all! Does this make me a dufus? Don't answer that.

Boxes

They're everywhere. And I am really trying to avoid the fact that they aren't unpacking themselves.

The important thing is that we are in our new house, and as I type Todd is reading Bible stories to the girls (Abby, Ellie and Kate are sharing a room) while Charlotte is quiet.

That last part is noteworthy.

Some days are better than others but in general she just has a hard time around feeding. She has reflux but the suggestions I got from the doctor don't seem to be helping and it stinks to see her so frustrated. I am nursing her but she isn't really good at it yet so I've been bottle-feeding her breast milk most of the time. We have given her formula as well but that's pretty sketchy. As if on cue, she just started screaming. It was right before Adam's rib got yanked out.

So, anywho, where was I?

Oh yes.

Reflux.

Any thoughts? We have tried cereal in her bottle and the medicine the Dr. gave us (I forget what it's called and I would need to stand up and walk to find out, so let's skip it) but she still seems upset. Feel free to email me or leave any suggestions you all have in the comments so we can all read them. As it turns out I am wide awake in the middle of the night and can stop back and catch myself up...:)

As far as life in general, we're doing great. Blessed to have a wonderful house and incredibly sweet neighbors. We have received four plates of homemade cookies so far and have spent hours outside chatting. It is the kind of neighborhood where people just sit on their porches and drink coffee, waving to all the people who go by. I asked one of the neighbors if they had ever had any problems and she said that the teenagers get into mischief in the summer. When I asked what she meant she explained that they occasionally flip garbage cans upside-down and don't stop fully at the stop sign. Then she told me that she and her friend used to sit outside and launch tennis balls at anyone that didn't at least slow down. Her friend even ordered a siren online and they would turn it on to scare the speeders. I'm still laughing about that one.

We are completely surrounded by girls so the kids are loving it. They invited several of them in and went to play upstairs and a few minutes later I heard "Mighty to Save" in three part harmony and I decided we needed to have a chat about homeschooling.  I did make Auntie Annie's orange rolls for them all and I even transferred them to a plate to make them appear homemade. Bonus.

So, as you can see, I haven't had much time for blogging, what with my baking and all.

I just wanted to stop in and say hello and pretend I had some adult interaction...anyone?

Before I sign off from this incredibly inspiring and insightful post, I do want to mention something more serious and I hope you all will join me in praying for my dear bloggy-friend Sara. Many of you know her as GitzenGirl, and if you don't know about her I hope you will click over and share some life with her. She is an amazing lady and she is going through an extremely rough time. Her father passed away unexpectedly and due to chronic illness she isn't able to travel (or even leave her apartment for that matter). I can't imagine what she's going through and I just wanted to ask you all to be in prayer for her and her family. Sara, we are all loving you from afar and asking the Lord to comfort you in ways we can't. Your dad sounds like a hero, and now I know where that spark in you came from. Praying, praying, praying...

As always, feel free to share your prayer requests here and know that the Lord is listening.

He is, in fact, mighty to save.

:)

Love to all,
A

A Few Things...

I am so glad you loved those photos as much as I did!!! I have had several people comment about what a precious idea it was to have the pitcher with the cherry blossoms and the bunny, and I wanted to make sure I told you that I had nothing to do with it!!! Tammi was the creative bug and I just stood in about 2 feet of grass while mosquitos bit me to pieces.  Several people asked if Abby had already broken her arm and the answer is yes! Once again, creativity at its finest :) She didn't have the neon green cast yet, it was just in a sling-thingy but seriously! You can't tell at all!! I'm going to pay her thousands if she can do the same with my baby weight...

I wanted to give you all another update and ask for some prayer for next week. You might remember that we had put our house on the market last year and finally sold it. We found another one we loved and really felt like it was where we were supposed to be. Unfortunately, the floods happened and the people who were buying ours couldn't because the people buying theirs lost their home (Did that make sense? I'm not getting much sleep).  We were so devastated for the family (and so many families) that lost their (s) it just wasn't a big deal about ours. We were safe and sound and apparently moving wasn't in God's plan for us.

And then, a few days later, our buyers accepted another offer on their home, but the one we were going to buy had already sold. We had a few days and a wonky market to try and make a big decision. Todd and I were committed to putting ourselves in a position where we could be better stewards of our money and there just wasn't much out there.

So, we had a little heart to heart and we decided to just blow off the whole "God leading us" thing in favor of a rustic mansion on a 100 acre farm in the Tennessee hills.

Not really.

God surprised us with a beautiful home in a safe, wonderful neighborhood with lots of trees and children. It is cozy and peaceful and we can't wait to call it ours. It turns out that several others felt that way as well, and despite the fact that we didn't even put in the highest offer (there were several...and at least one that was well above ours), we got it!!! Because we had no contingencies, they took it in place of the others.  Not everyone has the opportunity to do what we are doing, and we are extremely grateful to be able to be debt free as a result of our downsizing. Other than our mortgage, we are free and clear!!! YIPPEE!!!!

Until I talk hubbs into buying me that Range Rover I've had my eye on...uh, NOPE.

All that to say, we are praising God for His faithfulness to us. We are blessed to be able to make some adjustments in our lifestyle and share what we are given. It isn't anywhere near what others are doing in order to serve the Lord better and I don't want you to think I am saying it's this huge sacrifice...it's honestly not. We are together, we are healthy, and we will have a lovely place to be together and share life. How amazing is that? We are moving next week and as excited as we are, it's still stressful to pack up a house and four children...we appreciate prayers for all to go smoothly and especially for the girls to adjust well. We will be farther from my mom and dad and their friends and they are struggling with all the change that's been happening.

I am praying that the Lord will continue to draw us near to Him and burden us for those who have so much less than we do. Audra just got back from Africa and we have talked for hours about what she saw there and how it impacted her (I'm so incredibly proud to call her my friend...). I want to write about it in more detail but we have had great conversations about simplifying life. I actually want to pick your brains about how to do this in a society like ours, so stay tuned for a post where you can contribute.

Also, could you pray for my friend Adrienne? I have mentioned her here before...she has three beautiful adopted children and is now pregnant with her fourth. She has been having complications and is now on hospital bedrest. Her baby boy seems to have stopped growing and although she is only 26 weeks, they are trying to decide if it would be better for him to be delivered. There is a lot that seems up in the air and I just can't imagine dealing with all of that while having your three young children at home. She and her husband are wonderful and I know they would appreciate your kind words and especially your prayers on their behalf.

Finally, I want to leave you with an image I think will move you.

It may move you to tears.

And ladies, I do hope what I am about to show will not cause you to stumble in your walk.


Deep breath...


Wait for it...

I don't really know what else to say.

You all have a great night...that is, if you can shake the image of the gold chain.

And also, baby? Bill Cosby called.

He's gonna need that sweater back.

~Ang

More Than Words

I think you'll agree that it's a good thing I inherited Tammi as a friend. She and Todd have known eachother since Junior High..back in the days when Todd wore clothes from Oaktree and rocked the mullet and thick gold chain combo. 

Let me catch my breath before I go on.

The images, they haunt me.

Despite his fashion sense, Todd was able to make a lot of great friends that I now have the benefit of knowing, and Tammi is one of them. If you are a member of Bloom, Tammi is the one who originally recommended the book we are reading now.  She is a missionary/mom extraordinaire/amazing woman of God/precious friend/defender of the poor...and on and on.

As you are about to see, she also has one other talent.

And regarding that talent, may I just say.....

RIDICULOUS.

Tammi, your creativity and heart combine in the most powerful way through your lens, and your photographs tell stories I could never try and recreate in words. Thank you for loving us so well and gifting us with these treasures.

                                    

I had to include a couple more that aren't my own kiddos because they are so STINKING adorable...

Look at this baby!!!!

    

And these TWINS?!?!?!! Oh my WORD.

There are about a million more that I would love to put on here but I need to run and feed Charlotte. She is the most gentle, calm, sweet baby you have ever met in your life.

Unless you dare to put her down, in which case she screams like her head is on fire.

Blogging has become an interesting challenge...

Love to you all from rainy Nashville,

Ang

GO USA!!!!!!!! (Regardless of the maddening horn noise, I will be watching :)) 

Capturing Memories Through Scrapbooking

I have often marveled over my friend Jessica’s scrapbooking. I wish every one of you could sit on her couch and page through her albums. Since we are reveling in wonder over Charlotte, I invited her to guest post today. I hope you enjoy seeing her work as much as I do.

Scrapbooking is to me as sewing is to Angie.

A healthy obsession. :)

When I had my son, Elias, two years ago, scrapbooking took on a whole new meaning.

Suddenly, I felt responsible for telling HIS story. After all, he was too young to do it – or even remember it.

I found myself writing notes about his day on a calendar hanging in his room.

I took pictures of all the little moments – snuggles, diaper changes, playtime, etc.

I scrapbooked.

I have worked full-time since Elias was six-weeks-old, so my scrapbooking style was simple, but incredibly meaningful. I created pages like these:

It was all about photos+words.

Soon people began asking me how I was able to juggle full-time work, motherhood, marriage, church, etc. and still find time to scrapbook.

“You make time for what is important to you,” I replied.

But their questions got me thinking. I began praying for a way to help other moms discover my method for fitting scrapbooking in the midst of a busy schedule.

Soon, I developed an idea for an online scrapbooking class called Don’t Blink: Scrapbooking Your Child’s First Year, and I emailed a proposal to Big Picture Scrapbooking, the internet’s largest online scrapbooking class site.

I didn’t really think they would say yes. Afterall, I’m not a famous scrapbooker – just a scrapbooking mom, who loves putting photos and words together on pretty paper.

But they loved the idea and Don’t Blink was born! The class is self-paced and includes helpful hints, an audio file from me and dozens of layouts for inspiration. It is accessible online and there whenever moms can squeeze in a few minutes.

With Charlotte’s birth, I have once again been reminded of the gift of scrapbooking newborns.

Her birth story.

Her personality.

Her little hands and feet.

I couldn’t help but make a layout with the photos I took after Charlotte was born.

While I know I will never forget being there, this scrapbook page will last longer than me. :) I hope someday it is something Charlotte will treasure.

Do you scrapbook or journal to chronicle your kid’s stories? What are your favorite memories you have captured? I’d love to read them in the comments! And, if you have any questions about my BPS class, I’ll do my best to answer them.

To enroll in Jessica’s Big Picture Scrapbooking class, Don’t Blink: Scrapbooking Your Child’s First Year, click here. While I will probably never be a scrapbooker, I love, love, love what Jessica shares in the class- and all the layouts are simple and amazing. They are also offering a coupon for 20% off – just use the code blogblink at the check-out. (expires 12/20/2010 and is not good on any other classes)

Love,
Angie